People can tell when you’re desperate. They knew before you sent the message.
You’re in someone’s DMs asking for a referral, a coffee meeting, an introduction, from someone who barely knows your name. You’re not wrong for wanting the gig. But the timing exposes everything. You only showed up when you needed something.
That’s not networking. That’s asking a stranger for a favor.
My podcast guest Peter Saleh said it better than I ever have: hustle when you have work, not when you don’t. I think about that all the time. Because the instinct is completely backwards for most musicians. They go quiet when they’re busy and loud when they’re desperate. And desperation has a smell. People can sense it before you open your mouth.
But Peter took it further. He said that hustling when you have work helps you remember your dignity. Because when you need something badly enough, you start to shelve it. And it doesn't help. If they don't have work for you, it doesn't matter how you present yourself. What matters is how they remember you — and that gets decided long before you ever need anything from them.
The other half of “who you know” is who trusts you. When a music director needs to fill a slot, they’re not scrolling through a list of the most talented people they’ve ever heard. They’re thinking about who’s going to show up on time, handle the environment without drama, and make the experience easier for everyone around them. They go to the people they already trust. Not the safe move. The smart one.
Peter also reframed something I’d felt for years but never articulated that cleanly. He said that when you’re a sub, it’s easy to feel like someone is on a mountaintop handing work down to you. But that’s not what’s actually happening. You’re being of service to them so they can do other things. That shift in perspective changes everything about how you show up.
LEARN MORE ABOUT PETER SALEH'S SWITCHBOARD PERCUSSION TABLE HERE
When you’re working, you have a different energy. You’re not chasing. You’re contributing. And when you’re busy, you can’t take every opportunity that comes your way. So you pass it along. And who do you pass it to? The people you remember. The ones who were present before they needed anything. The ones who checked in, not to ask for something, but just to stay connected. Not a resume. Not a cold DM. A person.
FUN FACT: I haven't always been on a hit Broadway show. I've sat in that underemployed stretch wondering where the next thing is coming from. That uncertainty is exactly why I started Broadway Drumming 101, why I interview other drummers, why I write these pieces, and why I wrote Broadway Bound and Beyond. I needed this information and nobody was giving it to me straight. But even in the lean years, I wasn't only looking for a job. I was looking for ways to be useful. And that one shift changed everything.
You don’t need to start with Broadway heavy-hitters. You don’t need to cold-email music directors or force your way into places you haven’t earned yet. Start with the people around you right now. The rehearsal pianist. The music assistant. The guitarist in the pit. The sound engineer. The stage manager. Every one of them is part of the ecosystem and everyone talks. Show up prepared. Be helpful. Make their day a little easier. That’s how trust starts.
The relationships I built early, through rehearsal bands, regional theater, club dates, jam sessions, have come back in powerful ways, sometimes years later. Not because I was working an angle. Because I showed up, did the job well, and treated people right. That’s it. That’s the whole formula.
So what does that actually look like? Say yes to the low-profile gigs. The 29-hour reading that pays almost nothing. The workshop for a show that may never see the light of day. The sub opportunity for a regional production two hours outside the city. Those are not consolation prizes. The people running those sessions are the same people hiring for Broadway right now. Say yes consistently, do the job well, and you become a known quantity before you ever ask for anything. Show up somewhere you don’t have to be. A masterclass. A showcase for a friend. A jam session that has nothing to do with theater. Just be present in the musical community, not to be seen, but to actually be there. Face-to-face still matters more than most people want to admit in 2026.
When you hear about a sub opportunity that doesn’t fit your schedule, pass it along to someone it would. When someone’s asking about a contractor’s contact or a piece of software, give them a real answer. The musicians who give freely, information, leads, time, help, are the ones others think of first when something comes up. And if you want advice from someone you admire, don’t say “can I pick your brain?” That’s vague and signals you haven’t done your homework. Reference something specific instead. A podcast they did, a show they were on, something you actually looked into. Then ask one focused, answerable question. It shows effort. It makes it easy for them to help you. And it tells them you’re the kind of person worth helping.
Once you’ve made a connection, maintain it. Not in a clingy or desperate way, just consistently. Congratulate them when they land something. Recommend them when you see an opportunity that fits. Check in a few months after a good conversation, not to ask for anything, just to stay connected. And it doesn’t have to be about music. Some of my favorite conversations with musicians I know go deep into history, politics, books, movies, whatever. Not a word about Broadway or the next show. Those conversations matter. They make you a real person in someone’s mind instead of just a name in the industry. When you call somebody to talk about a book you both love, that’s not networking. But it does more for your career than most networking ever will.
Nobody needs another person who performs interest. They need someone who actually pays attention and shows it occasionally.
Your reputation is what people say about you when you’re not around. Are you ready when you show up? Do you work well under pressure? Do you arrive early? Are you someone people are genuinely glad to be next to? All of that spreads, quietly, steadily, without you saying a word about it. You don’t get to claim your own reputation. Your actions build it and other people carry it. That’s why the work you put in on a regional gig, a low-budget reading, or a sub slot nobody else wanted matters just as much as the work you put in on a big show. Sometimes more. Because those are the situations where people are watching most closely.
Most of the relationships that shaped my career didn’t pay off in a month or even a year. Some took years before they led anywhere tangible. That’s not a flaw in the approach. That’s how real trust works.
This business runs on reputation and shared experience. You can’t manufacture either one. You build them by being someone people can count on, over and over, across a long stretch of time. The musicians who get hired consistently aren’t the most aggressive about chasing opportunities. They’re the ones who’ve spent years making themselves worth calling. By the time the right opportunity comes up, the decision is easy. The relationship is already there.
Plant the seeds now. The harvest comes later.
This article draws from Chapter 7 of Broadway Bound and Beyond: A Musician's Guide to Building a Theater Career. Available at broadwayboundbook.com and wherever books are sold.